


Our Collective

by almaasi



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Adopted Children, Domesticity, Established Relationship, Family, Fluff, Garak has a tail, Garashir Babies, Inspired by Art, Lowkey Spy Stuff, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Elim Garak, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Cardassia, Romance, Sharing a Bed, Tailed Cardassians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:21:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25773508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almaasi/pseuds/almaasi
Summary: Post-canon couple Elim and Julian enjoy collecting things they love. Children, for example.Inspired by (and featuring) heart-meltingly adorable art by prose-n-scripts!
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 28
Kudos: 131





	1. Everyone’s Favourite Parent

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, space friends!
> 
> First off, here’s the big news: I wrote a 15-minute Garashir play called “Little Achievements” where the romance is NOT subtext. Siddig el Fadil (Julian) and Andy Robinson (Garak) have agreed to perform it, and so long as Andy fixes his internet problems by then, they’re doing it live on a Zoom broadcast on Tuesday 11th August 2020 at 9pm EDT, and a repeat (the same but likely slightly different) performance on Friday 14th August 2020 at 3pm EDT.  
>  **[Click here for a tumblr post explaining how to watch!](https://almaasi.tumblr.com/post/625831092963934208/little-achievements-garashir-performance)**  
>  Edit: All done now! Video will be on Youtube soon and the script will be posted as a fic on AO3.
> 
> Okay, now on to THIS fic!
> 
> I’ve illustrated [every Garashir fic I’ve posted thus far](https://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&include_work_search%5Bfandom_ids%5D%5B%5D=8474&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bexcluded_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bcrossover%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_from%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_to%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_from%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_to%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&user_id=almaasi) \- but not this one, because it was inspired by prose-n-scripts’ fanart! And there’s NEW art in chapter 1.  
> Inspirations: [One](https://almaasi.tumblr.com/post/619490697201975297/prose-n-scripts-post-canon-garak-bashir-household) || [Two](https://prose-n-scripts.tumblr.com/post/621654689609564161/more-shenanigans-at-the-garak-bashir-household) || [Three](https://prose-n-scripts.tumblr.com/post/622375678758862848/garashir-household-takes-a-nap-and-kukalaka-takes)
> 
> Beta’d by Bella and Amara, with musing support by anupalya! Endless thanks to [Vicky](https://prose-n-scripts.tumblr.com/) for the gorgeous art!!! ♥

Clouds rusted as afternoon sunlight seared the yellow sky.

Out here grass would never appear a luscious green, not like it was on Earth, but it maintained a healthy khaki tone even in the peak of summer.

Garak’s boots bristled through unshorn stalks as he made his way up the path, which had almost overgrown with briars in the weeks since he last trimmed them back.

He paused at the end of the pathway, smiling as he saw the cottage ahead: an elegant scalene triangle of dark wood and black glass, framed by vines and flowers.

Taking a deep breath of the highland humidity, he hefted his shoulder bag up with three thick grey claws, then marched on, filled with glee.

Once he was within forty metres of the house, Garak let out a cry of delight: a tall and colourful figure approached from a distant thicket. Garak raised an arm to wave, and heard a shriek in reply. A tiny pastel-coloured blob came bobbing across the lawn, overtaking Julian and rushing up to Garak.

Garak dropped his bag and opened his arms to little Tee, who ran and ran – then plopped flat onto xis face ten metres away.

“Oh, _no_ ,” Garak said, hurrying to his baby – but by the time he got there, Tee was already up and asking silently for a hug. “Ahhh.” Garak picked up his littlest child and cuddled xim to his chest. He stroked Tee’s fat grey tail downwards and snuggled his face into the baby’s warmth, humming and growling a wordless hello.

Julian and their eldest, Chakha, came close soon after, both wearing huge grins. Chakha headbutted Garak’s lower belly as she wrapped her skinny arms around him, and Garak petted her, tugging on her tufty ponytail and beaming down at his six-year-old Bajoran daughter. Tee started to wiggle, so Garak set xim down, and Chakha started to jump, so he picked her up. She immediately reached for a passing sun moth, always enamoured by such fluttery creatures.

“Now, let’s _see_ ,” Garak said, amused. “One Tee. One Chakha. One _dear_ Papa Julian. I’m _suuurre_ there was another one... No? This must be all, then.”

Tokar squeaked in affront from behind Julian. Julian threw his head back laughing, then turned around to show Garak the backpack he wore, which contained one chunky darling of a Cardassian boy.

“Oh, yes, how _could_ I forget,” Garak said, easing Chakha down to the grass and moving to unbuckle his son from the carrier. “How are the legs today, Tokar?”

“I’m fine!” Tokar insisted, wriggling and wriggling until Garak took him into his arms and gave him a good squish. “We just went to your garden. And I walked some of the way!”

“ _Did_ you, now,” Garak smiled, exchanging a sly look with Julian. “Do you mean the garden on _this_ side of the fence, or the one over the stile?”

Chakha answered with a confident tut, while pulling a moba fruit out of Julian’s pocket and scrubbing it clean on Julian’s tunic hem. “The _good_ one.”

“Oh-ho!” Garak smacked a kiss on Tokar’s ridged forehead, then lowered him down, holding him carefully until the boy gingerly took his own weight, then puttered off to peer inside Garak’s dropped bag. Garak looked at Julian. “You weren’t spotted?”

“Ugh, please,” Julian smiled. “Six years and our neighbours haven’t realised we’re using their land to grow fruit. I’m not _that_ bad of a secret agent. _Now_ , Elim, come here already.” He pulled Garak in by his collar and planted a soft kiss on his lips, humming and smiling all the way through, grinning once he pulled away. “How was the trip? Find what you need?”

“Indeed I did! I’ve ordered a number of bolts of silk and satin to be shipped separately; they should arrive in a few days. The finest hides certainly don’t come cheap,” Garak waggled a knowing finger, “but I’ve purchased enough for trimmings and accents to last a good few months. Some of the leathers are particularly delicate—” He saw what Tee and Tokar were doing in his bag and yelped, “Which means I won’t have anyone poking their grubby little claws where they don’t belong! Shoo! Shoo!” He growled playfully and the children scattered, laughing.

“Daddy?”

“Hm? Yes, my dear?” Garak asked Chakha.

“I found another fossil for P’pa’s collection,” Chakha said, her mouth full of mushy moba fruit. “He says it’s a really excellent one. I think it’s a—” She checked with Julian, who nodded encouragingly. “I theorise that it’s a First-Hebitian-era regnar.”

“Kha and I are going to be doing plenty of cross-referencing to prove or disprove your theory later, aren’t we?” Julian smiled down at her. He looked proudly between the children, then told Garak, “We got _lots_ of schoolwork done before lunch and I thought, well, let’s enjoy the afternoon before Daddy gets back. Good timing, hm?” He patted Garak on the arm.

“Alright, everyone,” Julian announced, “let’s head in. I’ve got an awful lot of chopping to do before those pies are ready for the oven.”

Garak gathered his bag close, double-checking that Tokar’s claws hadn’t poked an unsightly hole in his precious roll of patterned hide. With some relief, Garak folded the bag shut and turned for the house.

Someone unexpectedly took his hand with a scaly paw. Garak looked down – and with a smile, allowed Julian to take and carry the bag so Garak could hold Tokar’s hand comfortably.

Garak and Julian went side-by-side together up to the house, while the children walked in single file behind them, holding hands in a chain. Tee brought up the rear, clutching Chakha’s dress because Chakha’s free hand and mouth were occupied with her fruit.

As much as Garak yearned for the structure of even post-war Cardassian civilisation, coming home to this countryside sanctuary and coming home to his family was like stepping out of a too-tight tunic at the end of a long day. Being here was a relief. He was left vulnerable and weightless – which could be overwhelming in itself. In such cases he was allowed a few days respite, always: he’d leave on business trips, enjoy a few days of quiet and solitude – just him and a rare fabric market; _heaven_ – and then he’d return to this beautiful chaos and his beautiful partner.

Their glass-roofed house was programmed to stay dark in the daytime, as Cardassians didn’t need much light to see by, and Julian’s enhancements meant he could get by without trouble. Chakha was the one who needed more light, but after a few minutes sitting at the kitchen table to let her eyes adjust to the gloom, she went off running after Tokar and Tee, laughing at the sheer power that being able to see provided her. Long ago she tended to bump into furniture, but now furniture was not allowed to be moved, and far fewer bruises presented themselves.

“Get yourself settled,” Julian advised. He stroked Garak’s chest while his eyes settled on the sink under the kitchen window, where sunlight pooled in the black bowl. “I have at least an _hour_ of cooking before dinner’s ready, so you have time to sort out your fabric collection.”

“Messed it up again, did they?” Garak smiled, taking the roll of hide out of his bag.

“ _I_ did, actually,” Julian replied sheepishly. “Made myself an ascot necktie.”

“Pardon?”

“They were big in the nineteen-sixties on Earth!” Julian retorted, as if Garak was supposed to know already. “My outfit needed something.”

“A night on the town with the children, I suppose?”

“Oh, no; I just wanted it to wear around the house.” Julian went to wash his hands. “I go mad wearing these Cardassian tunics all the time. You know, I kind of miss my Starfleet jumpsuit, too...”

Garak harrumphed fondly. “If you’d like me to fashion you some tighter, stretchier outfits, Doctor, I’m hardly going to argue.”

Julian laughed, green-hazel eyes flashing with reflected sunlight as he glanced back into the gloom. “Go and put your things away, Elim. We can talk about playing dress-up later.”

“Hm.” Garak gave Julian a sweet look, then headed into his tailoring room.

He turned a white light on and aimed it at his cutting desk. There was in fact a mess on the desk, and it figuratively had Julian’s fingerprints all over it. He’d tidied up and folded all the fabric he’d pulled out, but didn’t dare put it back where he found it, because he knew how Garak’s shelving system varied week by week, and if his collection wasn’t grouped by colour then it might be arranged by how much fabric remained on the roll, or perhaps its price (either at the time of purchase or at current estimated value), but even a man so intelligent as Julian couldn’t work such things out without dismantling the whole shelf.

So Garak busied himself with inventing a new way of categorising the fabric, so as to account for the new hides and the bolts he knew would be coming in soon. His life these days had little room for mystery, and being a man who adored keeping secrets, he appreciated having a space where things made sense only to him.

He finished after less than an hour, then peeked his head out into the kitchen, sniffing with his wide-set reptilian nose and salivating at what he smelled. “Done yet, Doctor?”

“Not yet,” Julian called back, bending forward to peer into the oven. Folds of his tunic hung well over his buttocks, but unfortunately hid the rest of his lanky body. “Needs another twenty minutes, I think.”

“ _Twenty_?!”

Julian stood up and gave Garak a cross look. “Look, Garak, I’m a _doctor_ , not a chef. I’m _sorry_ my genetically enhancements don’t magically make me a perfect cook, but since we sold our replicator to pay for Tokar’s surgery, I’d just be grateful your partner doesn’t burn everything, if I were you.”

Garak gave a slow, wide smile, tail swishing behind him at the pleasure of being told off. “Did I say I wasn’t grateful, my dear? I merely express my concern that twenty minutes might be a little long for a pastry crust that thin.”

“Really?” Julian glanced at the digital clay oven warily.

“Let me,” Garak said, moving close and touching Julian’s lower back. “Go and rest, my dear; you’ve clearly had a long few days in my absence.”

“No! No— Garak.” Julian took Garak’s paws and dragged him off the kitchen tiles and back to the dining table. “You taught me to cook. You’ve given me advice. Now, for goodness’ sake, let me _learn_. I managed without you. Go and do something productive.”

Garak opened his mouth to protest, but Julian hushed him with a finger on his pout and a stubborn look.

Garak huffed, but smiled, and bowed his head in submission, holding Julian’s gaze. “Reduce the heat now, and rotate the dish in five minutes.”

“Will do.”

Garak retreated to his nook, supposing he might have time before dinner to measure and cut the fabric, thereby making a start on the designs he’d sketched out on the public-skimmer ride back home.

Purple fabric flowed over the desktop, guided flat by his tri-clawed hand. He began to hum a tune as he measured, tail tip twitching with the rhythm.

He’d just reached for the scissors when something grabbed the end of his tail – he spun around, ready to stab someone, but stood down and hid the scissors when he realised his assailant was Tee, still hugging Garak’s tail, now having been swung under the desk.

“Daddy’s busy right now, Tee,” Garak said gently. He bent down, groping and stretching his arm out until he reached the end of his tail and picked up his baby by xis waist. “Do you want to look?”

“Ya,” Tee said, eyes already enamoured with the glitter in the purple fabric. “Shyy.”

“Shiny? Yes! Yes, it is! Abso _lute_ ly gorgeous. Isn’t it wonderful? Here, would you like to feel it?” He held up a corner of the fabric so Tee could touch it. Tee screwed up xis face and pouted. “Oh, not so good? Ah... perhaps these.” Garak carried Tee to the shelf and let xim paw at the fluffy ragged ends of the bolts. Tee smiled and chirped.

“Hm! Now, wasn’t that fun?” Garak put Tee down and wafted xim towards the door. “Now, go and play with your siblings, please, little one.”

He happily got back to his work, humming again.

The peace didn’t last long. He sensed a presence and listened without turning, discovering that the childrens’ game had brought Tee right back, and Chakha and Tokar were in a _giggly_ mood.

“I know both your parents were spies in years gone by,” Garak said to the room at large, keeping his back turned, “but I’m _starting_ to suspect the skills of such a profession is a learned one, not a genetic one...”

Tokar reminded Garak, “Daddy, we got _adopted_. We ahwen’t gen-eh-tic-ly welated to you.”

Garak gave him an astonished look. “You don’t say?!”

Chakha giggled until her nose ridges scrunched up, then she folded over forwards, clutching her middle as she laughed.

Tokar folded his arms and tossed his tail from one side of him to the other, sweeping thread on the wooden floor. “Chakha and me aah welated. But that’s all.”

Chakha was still laughing.

“Tell me, young Tokar,” Garak said, returning most of his attention to his work, measuring again, “if you and Chakha _are_ genetically related, how did it come to be that you have a tail and your sister does not? How did it come to be that Chakha is a year older?”

Tokar tutted. “We got born on the same stahhdate, so we—”

“We’re twins, Daddy!” Chakha said. “We’ve told you a _million_ -and-one times.”

“Ah,” Garak said warmly, “it seems the knack for hyperbole does run in the family. Oh— Tee, dear, don’t pull...” Garak tried to stop Tee from tugging on the fabric as he cut it, but by the time Garak turned back to his desk, Tokar was sitting up there, examining the thread bobbins, and Chakha had pasted herself to Garak’s thigh, peering over the desktop to watch.

Garak sighed. “I suppose you all missed me.”

“P’pa missed you mostest,” Tokar said, pulling a glittery thread and unravelling it from the fabric. “He put on _all_ the outfits you made him and did a fashion show.”

“Did he! My-my...” Garak pondered. “He wasn’t too overwhelmed, was he? Looking after three miniature monsters without me?”

“No, he gets all excited when you go,” Chakha said as she climbed up Garak’s back like she was some kind of rockface regnar, searching for the sun. She hung her arms around his neck and dangled there, watching him snip fabric. “He likes having us all to himself. He thinks we love you more.”

Garak chuckled, finding his buried irritation dispelled. “And? Do you?”

“We were told not to answer that if you asked.”

Garak laughed quietly. “You don’t say.”

“Mm-hm,” Tokar said. “But only b’cause we got told not to say.”

“Ah...” Garak chuckled. “No, I didn’t mean the phrase literally. But... Point taken.”

Tee poked xis nose over the edge of the desk, holding onto it with xis paws. Garak realised there was no support under xim – so he dropped his scissors and snatched the baby before xe could fall from the edge and tumble to the floor.

“I do await the day,” Garak said to Tee, “when you’re substantial enough to think about moving a _stool_ to climb on.”

Garak settled Tee back on the floor, where Tee plonked xis butt down and started to whine.

Garak sighed down at the little Cardassian. “Dear me. Have I offended you in some way? No...? Ah. Dinnertime, isn’t it? Come on. Let’s go see what’s happening in the kitchen.”

He picked Tee up again, and with his other arm he helped Tokar hop down off the desk, and then ushered Chakha through the room’s opening too, with a hand behind her shoulders. He turned back just to switch the light off, then headed into the muggy, sweet-smelling kitchen. The room had a faint golden glow, lit only by sunlight rebounding off the window ledges.

Tee was still whining, uncomfortable and upset. Garak bounced xim a few times, but it made no difference.

“My dear?” Garak called to Julian, who was rushing around between trying to lay the table and take the vegetables off the heat and fan the pie cool and stop the tap in the sink from overflowing the water jug. “Any chance it’s time to eat?”

“One minute, one minute— Everyone sit! Chakha – wash your hands _properly_ , please, I know you’ve been crawling around in the sunroom. I didn’t get around to sweeping up the spilled soil yet.”

Garak settled Tee into xis highchair, but Tee was squirming and wailing by now and wasn’t making it an easy task. Garak hushed and soothed and promised that dinner was only a minute away, but Tee wasn’t listening, let alone comprehending the concept of linear time.

Garak, growing distressed, looked helplessly at Julian. “I can’t imagine why they’d like me more, my dear. I’m perfectly useless.”

Julian actually stopped what he was doing to look at Garak in disgust. “Useless? What on Cardassia are you talking about? You’re the _least_ useless person I’ve ever met in my life. Now, though? For God’s sake, Garak, get your brain in gear, get Tee what xe needs, then wash your hands and sit _down_.”

“But—” Garak looked unhappily at his crying baby. “But what—?”

His brain suddenly clicked on. “Aha!”

He went upstairs into the triangle-roofed part of the house, where the sunset was just about visible as a red glow through the half-tinted wall of glass on the left. The shade would fade away over the evening, and by the time the stars came out, the roof would be as clear as air.

In the dim light, Garak located Kukalaka under the blankets of his and Julian’s bed. He returned downstairs, and presented the teddy bear to the screaming Tee, who, upon registering what had been placed on xis lap, gurgled into silence, sniffled, then buried xis face in the bear.

Julian smiled. “Tell me again you’re useless.”

Garak shook his head and went to wash his hands. Behind him he heard Julian serving out slices of pie and vegetables, and the children being delighted by the presentation. They’d planted, grown, and harvested the vegetables themselves, which lent them a certain determination to appreciate the taste and texture. Julian made sure to flavour them effectively, just to be sure.

Garak took his place beside Julian and tucked his chair in. “You know, Doctor,” he said while he served Julian, “I’m starting to think you _like_ me being the favourite.”

Julian beamed at him as Garak served himself. “Well,” Julian said with a cute shrug, taking a fork and posing it over his food. “You are _my_ favourite.”

Garak chortled. He tucked a napkin into his collar, giving his sweetheart a long, loving look, heart warmed by how fondly he looked back. He then turned to his food, and together they settled in to eat.

  
⁂  



	2. Literally Lost

After dinner Garak returned to his tailor’s room, determined to actually get something done before bedtime. He knew if he finished his current inspired collection before the season changed, he might make enough profit that they could afford at least a travel-size replicator.

Julian did love to cook, but there were days a replicator would be helpful, to say the least – if only so he could replicate ingredients instead of fighting elderly Cardassians at the market over a little grain flour or zabu meat.

Resources of all kinds had been stretched thin throughout the decade since the Dominion War ended, and in Cardassian society’s desperation to reform some semblance of order, old-style capitalism had reared its especially hideous head. The Garak-Bashir family was thankfully tucked away, far distant from the iced-over hearts of the big cities, but their plot of land was not rich in minerals, and they’d pooled everything they had into building a house to share.

They made it work. Not just for themselves, but for the children they’d adopted along the way. They’d never planned on having a family, but they collected everything else they liked – books, rocks and fossils, plant cuttings, fabrics, 1960s Thermos flasks – and woke up one morning realising they’d collected a few offspring as well.

Until that morning, they’d always assumed it was a temporary situation, that they were interim foster parents: they’d just house the ‘twins’ for a few months until it was safe for them to return to their orphanage. But that was never going to happen. They were done for the moment Chakha and Tokar informed them they came as a package deal, and both Julian and Garak laughed and played along. They’d volunteered to house one child but left with two.

Tee?

Tee just showed up lost in the market one day, and Julian came home with a baby.

Garak, terrified that he or Julian would get arrested for kidnapping, frantically tried to find the two-year-old’s parents. But after six days devoted to the investigation, bringing in help from anyone who could spare the time, he was informed by Colonel Kira Nerys, to his absolute dismay, that Mihandrakatee Indruk’s parents were once Cardassian guls, now deceased, along with the entire extended family. Tee had been living under a collapsed building for two months, alone, stealing food from the market Julian frequented.

It took another four months before Julian admitted he’d spotted Tee sneaking around a full three weeks before bringing xim home, and had been steadily building a rapport with the orphan, providing safer shelter and more nutritious food and exemplary medical care all the while, having sensed the toddler had an absolute distrust of other people and an inability to express xis needs aloud.

Garak had wondered where Kukalaka had disappeared to throughout those three weeks, and on that day, he finally understood.

As parents, Garak and Julian had decided to go the traditional Cardassian route for Tee: xe had no gender to speak of, and would be referred to without such terms until a time when Tee knew what xe would like to be.

Garak only wished he himself had been graced with the same patience growing up. Mila had gotten frustrated with him by age eight and chose for him, and now Garak had grown rather used to living as a man and didn’t want to change. But he did wonder if Tee might do what he’d personally yearned to do: not choose. He almost hoped that would happen. Julian handed him a baby and suddenly Garak had the chance to do better than his own so-called guardians, and for that he was not only grateful, but excited.

Garak passed half an hour lost in memories of how their family started. A shift in the air brought him to his senses, and he realised he’d started sewing on autopilot – correctly, thank goodness – and also that Tee had entered the room.

Garak looked down at the plump creature, who peered up at him with dewy lilac eyes, clutching Kukalaka to xis middle.

“To what do I owe the pleasure this time?” Garak asked.

No answer.

“That is to say,” Garak said, “do you want something?”

Tee stared.

Bluntly, but a desperate desire not to snap, Garak said, “Look, I do have a lot of work to be doing, little one. Might I trouble you by asking you to take a seat out of the way? I don’t mind company. Up you go.” He picked up Tee and placed xim on the plush wingback seat Julian used to sprawl on to watch Garak work, before three children prevented him from ever sitting down again.

After a silent minute, Tee tugged on the hide at the side of the table and it tumbled into xis hap. Garak snatched for it, scolding, “Please! If you’re going to sit there, kindly keep your paws to yourself. I can’t replace this if you poke _holes_ in it. Now either sit and pretend to be invisible, or find someone _else_ to pester.”

He put the hide on the other side of the table where Tee couldn’t reach it.

Tee watched quietly for a while, but when Garak turned his pattern over and reached for a marker pen, he realised it was a bit _too_ quiet. He glanced left and discovered the chair was empty.

He looked around. “Little one?”

He peered under the desk, then patted under the ribbon drawers with the end of his tail. “Tee?”

Garak stood up and tapped his claws together nervously. “My dear, if you’re in here, please come out? I didn’t mean to... _ignore_... you...”

Silence. Garak stood and closed his eyes and held his breath, trying to hear...

Nothing.

He left the room, feeling irritation flare. “I don’t have time for this,” he uttered, scowling as he paraded through the kitchen, trying to see a huddled-up grey lump.

Nothing.

Nothing!

He went from the kitchen through to the sunroom, where a vintage Terran chaise lounge was set up among plants and planters, green and leafy things rising up and curling down from the gridded glass slant above. Julian was on his knees, working by the light of the rising moons, sweeping up spilled dirt from his repotting escapade with the children earlier.

Julian glanced up, his dark skin highlighted in a pale yellow. “Hello?” He rocked back to perch on his heels, noticing Garak’s unease. “What’s wrong?”

Garak huffed in and out a bit, but then admitted, “I think I might’ve upset Tee.”

Julian sighed with a smile. He got up and brushed off his hands. “What did you do now?”

“Nothing,” Garak said, affronted. “Xe gets offended by the silliest things. All I did was try and get some work done.”

“Xe’s got good at asking for things, Elim; you know that. If xe came and asked for attention then you can’t just _not_ give it to xim. You _know_ how hard it’s been to even get a _hint_ that xe needs something.”

Garak sighed. “Xe didn’t _ask_. Xe just stood there. And stared at me. And I have too much work to do and summer’s practically almost over and I’ve _barely_ gotten started on my monsoon fashion line. What are we going to do when the monsoon comes, Doctor? Do you really think the crops we’ve been tending in the neighbours’ garden will last through the whole wet season? We had just enough to feed four people last year. We _certainly_ don’t have enough for Tee as well.”

Julian had looked mildly bothered when Garak started talking, but now he looked like he might throw a punch. “What are you saying?” he said, a chill in his voice. “Because if you’re saying what I think you’re saying—”

“I’m saying!” Garak snapped, “that things would be an awful lot easier if they didn’t love me quite so much!”

Another night, Julian might’ve laughed, but tonight he didn’t. “So you’d rather push them away, is that it?”

“I – didn’t – say – that!”

“I’m doing my best, Garak! There’s only so much I can take on, genetically enhanced or not. There’s only a set number of hours in a day. I only have two hands. You need more time alone— So what do you want me to do?” Julian panted, and his face sank into a sad expression. “I could send them to school...”

Garak stared at Julian, all thoughts stopped dead by the thought.

Julian sighed and bowed his head, forehead in his hands. “Tokar would be fine in school, even with his disabilities. But he can’t go without Chakha, and there’s no use explaining the difference between them all over again. We _cannot_ send a Bajoran to a Cardassian school. Things are changing but not fast enough. And Tee’s too young. I love homeschooling them, Garak. I really do. Maybe you’d get a few extra hours of quiet time – but at what cost?”

“Julian...” Garak looked away, frustrated and ashamed. He sighed and stepped closer, placing both hands on either side of Julian’s warm face, looking at him until he looked back. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry you’ve had to take on so much.”

“I’m sorry _you’ve_ had to take on so much,” Julian retorted.

“Ha! Doctor, I’m barely doing anything.”

“You’re feeding us, Garak. Every garment you sell keeps us alive. As a medical professional I know what kind of burden that can be... having people’s lives in your hands. When it’s people you love it’s even harder.”

Garak couldn’t respond, too baffled by the idea that his tailoring actually had value compared to all the daily miracles Julian performed.

Julian took his cheek in a hand and leaned in to kiss him.

“Where did Tee go?” Julian asked gently.

Garak gathered the gumption to reply, and finally said, quietly, “I don’t know. Hiding, probably. That ridiculous morsel is so small; xe could be anywhere.”

“If there was any doubt you and Tee aren’t related,” Julian smiled, “I think xe’s love of small spaces would be a telling sign.” Julian took Garak’s hand and lifted it to kiss. “Let’s round up the troops and pretend we’re playing hide-and-seek, hm?”

They found Chakha out in the purple-shadowed garden, padding around barefoot between the orchids, chatting to herself about caterpillars. Her pale skin glowed like she was a half-visible ghost in the twilight.

“Chakha?” Julian waved her over. “Have you seen Tee?”

Chakha shook her head, hair flicking her cheeks. “I saw Tokar though.”

“Oh! Good. Call him over and we’ll play find-the-Tee.”

With the twins on the case, searching the garden with wind-up handheld torches in hand and paw, Garak and Julian split up to search the house. Julian took the downstairs while Garak took the upstairs.

But the house was small. It was built for two people who never intended to stay more than a few years; it was just a place to put down roots on Cardassia. The beds were all in the same room, sides crammed against the wooden wall, pressed together head-to-foot; there were toys on the floor and nowhere for them to live; the bookshelf was stacked half a metre taller than it ought to be. There seemed like nowhere for a tiny Cardassian to sequester themselves away.

Garak sat on his bed and stared out at the rising moons through the glass slant, feeling unidentified emotions clutch at his heart.

Garak knew remorse intimately.

He knew it came on strong if he partook in murder; he knew it began to grow as the years went on and he continued to tell Julian effortless lies. It had affected him less, these last years – not because he felt any less regret for past crimes, but because he had done fewer of the things that seemed bad to him. He rarely lied. He hadn’t killed anyone in a decade.

But, oh, he knew remorse now.

It came at him like an old friend with a phaser tucked behind their back.

He tried to tell himself he’d done nothing wrong – because he hadn’t, not really; he’d needed to do what needed to be done to, as Julian put it, ‘feed the family’. He needed to focus on work to get the latinum to buy food and electricity. But Tee did not and could not understand that. All xe saw was Daddy not listening when xe had tried so hard to speak. Xe was not good at words – but performing trusting, vulnerable actions spoke volumes from a child who never before trusted, never showed weakness.

Garak recognised himself in Tee, really.

A child shouldn’t need so many secrets.

He knew Julian saw his younger, pre-augment self in Tee as well. Unable to communicate easily. Slow to understand. Trying so hard, yet forever believing himself to be a failure in the eyes of his parents.

“I’m sorry, Tee,” Garak muttered to the room, not knowing if Tee was there to hear. “I’m the one who’s failed _you_.”

He swallowed hard a few times, fighting back tears.

Heavy-hearted, he got up and made his way back downstairs.

Julian looked up from peering into all the kitchen cabinets. “Any luck?”

“Not the tip of a tail nor the shine of a scale to be seen.”

Chakha and Tokar came in from outside, stuck with leaves and smelling of fresh dew.

“Can’t find Tee _anywhere_ ,” Tokar said.

“Xe can’t have gotten far, can xe?” Chakha said, full of the electric, powerful energy often seen in a courtroom lawyer or a sporting coach before a big game – or, perhaps, a Starfleet commander. “ _I_ say we find Kukalaka instead. Tee _always_ knows where Kukalaka is. They’d be together.”

Julian’s mouth dropped open. “My God, you’re right! Chakha, you’re a genius! Elim, activate the tracker!”

Garak had all but forgotten about that. “Do you mean to say you never took it out?”

“I didn’t want to stitch Kukalaka up _again_ ; that poor bear’s been through enough.”

“What?” Tokar looked between his parents, eye-ridges rising. “What twacker?”

Garak smiled his slyest smile, stepping past his son and going to the computer wall panel, making quick work of bypassing the usual house controls and finding a place to input raw code. “When your Papa and I lived on Deep Space Nine, still getting to know each other, having our lunches, we happened to run into danger quite often. Our lives were at stake almost every other week. There were certain secrets, certain items of information that we decided to share, for insurance, or for instruction, should anything happen to either of us. Things we’d need to know if one of us lost the other.”

“And _I_ ,” Julian said, hands on his hips, “had the brilliant idea of putting it all on a data rod and stowing it away somewhere safe. Somewhere... or some _thing_... transportable.”

“But, of course,” Garak said, fingers moving like lighting to tap out a code he’d long-ago memorised, “it would be useless if we lost that safe place. So I included a tracking dot on the data rod. Dormant. Inactive. Activated only under the singular circumstance that either I or your Papa were... to... type out a code and... activate.” Garak leaned back from the computer and gestured Julian towards it, welcoming him closer. “Would you do the honours, my dear? The rod is inside _your_ bear, after all.”

Julian smiled at Garak and stepped into his personal space. He pressed a single button, and a circle appeared on the screen, expanding and shrinking to indicate an epicentre.

“Well, Kukalaka’s in the house.” Julian stepped back to let Tokar and Chakha see the screen, as they were both thrilled by the spy antics. “And definitely not where I left him, so—”

“So Tee has him!” Tokar said. “But is Kukalaka on this level oohw upstaihhs?”

“Hm...” Julian pondered the simple diagram, which showed only the basic shape of the house as a blue-grey set of boxes on the blackness. “If I remember correctly...” He pinched his fingers on the touchscreen and the house-shape rotated, now showing a three-dimensional rendering of their property. Julian zoomed in and cried, “Aha!”

“Upstairs!” Chakha set off running, thundering to the stairs and charging up them on all fours, flashes of her dirty feet disappearing within two seconds. Tokar tried to make chase but his legs gave out after three steps.

Garak swept up his son and righted him, but held on until Tokar nodded and could walk again. They made their slow way to the stairs and then up, pausing every few steps, hand in hand.

A step below, Julian padded back and forth in his eagerness to overtake, but there was no room, so he waited.

They made it upstairs just in time to see Chakha peering into the bottom section of Julian and Garak’s nightstand.

“Found you!” she said in her gentlest voice.

Garak was dismayed that he’d missed the little critter. But, he thought, what he and Tee lacked in similarity when it came to Garak’s fear of small spaces, they gained in shared skill for disappearing. The light over the nightstand had come on now, making it even harder to see underneath.

Perhaps xe’d taken Garak’s suggestion to heart. Tee _was_ invisible. Garak so often forgot how children interpreted his words literally.

Garak sat on the bed again, watching in silence as Chakha coaxed Tee out. Xe had been hugging Kukalaka behind xis tail and chewing his own scales, and now his tail was sore and he looked very tired.

Tokar got onto the bed and curled up next to Garak, leaning against his side. Garak slung an arm around his son, finding the touch assuring.

“Come on out, darling,” Julian said gently to the nightstand, crouching and tilting his head to see in. “Everything’s okay. We’ve been worried about you.”

Once Tee crawled out and stood up, xe looked around at the family, made nervous by being the centre of attention. Tee slowly let Kukalaka slide down to rest on the floor, then looked up at Julian for reassurance.

“Papa?” xe asked.

Julian chuckled. “It’s all right, Tee. Can I pick you up?”

Tee raised xis arms, and Julian groaned in exaggerated exertion as he lifted the adorable lump to his shoulder and let xim sit up there as Julian stood tall.

Julian made a beautiful picture, Garak thought, backlit by stars and side-lit by the amber glow of the bedside lamp. A child on his shoulder. Another kneeling at his feet.

Perhaps, Garak thought, he himself was part of the picture, if a less beautiful part. Sitting in disgrace, nearby. At least his arm was around Tokar; perhaps that redeemed him in some artful way.

He did feel remorse.

But he also felt love.

And it was clear which one was stronger – now, and forever.

  
⁂  



	3. Everything and Everyone

When it came to bedtime, Garak and Julian tended to share the task of tucking in their children. But tonight Julian sat back, cross-legged in striped pyjamas on their double bed, and let Garak do the honours.

Garak first dragged Chakha’s blanket all the way up to her chin, and gave her a smile. “You were very helpful this evening, my dear.”

“I was helpful earlier, too,” she said. “Before you got home.”

Garak chuckled. “Of that I have _no_ doubt.” He leaned down and put a soft kiss on her forehead. “Goodnight, Kha.”

“Night-night, Daddy.”

Garak beamed at her, then turned to the next bed along. Tokar was still doing his physical therapy, marching barefoot in place on a mat studded with spikes to increase blood flow to his feet. He noticed Garak was ready to tuck him in and flung himself into bed, burrowing under the blanket like a Tarkalean mole, then turning around and swimming back up to the pillow. He popped out smiling, ready for a kiss.

Garak first lifted the spiky mat off the floor, having stepped on it one too many times. He rolled it up and pushed it to the far end of the bed where Tokar’s feet wouldn’t reach.

Garak then sat on the small bed and reached to stroke Tokar’s hairline back, neatening the black locks so similar to his own. “I’m always proud of you, Tokar,” he said. “Always.” He gave Tokar a well-deserved smooch on the nose, making Tokar giggle and hide under the blanket.

Grinning, Garak got up and went to Tee’s cot, which had recently been converted into a very small bed – closer to the ground, with a short barrier at the side but no bars.

Garak couldn’t sit on the bed, so crouched, and sighed as Tee looked at him. Tee clearly expected nothing, and just cuddled xis hand-me-down teddy bear, unable to make eye contact.

“Tee...” Garak reached to touch Tee’s arm, but pulled back at the last moment, unsure if Tee wanted contact. Yet he froze, as Tee made a hurt noise and flinched at the withdrawal.

So Garak opened his arms tentatively, and his eye-ridges shot up and his heart _leapt_ as Tee wriggled off the bed and flopped onto Garak’s knee. Garak picked Tee up and cradled xim to his heart, slowly bowing his head to rest his muzzle on the scales at the back of Tee’s neck. Garak shut his eyes, trembling with overwhelming gratitude.

How astounding it was to be forgiven like that. To be trusted. Wanted.

Loved.

After a long hug, Garak tucked Tee neatly into bed, and provided the wee thing with a heartfelt kiss on xis cheek.

“I love you,” Garak said quietly, so nobody else would hear. It was true for everyone in the room, but Tee needed to hear it most. “And I’m sorry I didn’t show it the way you needed me to, today. Thank you for...” His breath shuddered. “For letting me apologise, little one.”

He patted the lump in the bed, then stood tall and turned away.

He went to Julian, who, rather than shuffling back in bed, got up to stand before Garak. Julian’s eyes brimmed with obvious love, and a quiet, deeply fulfilling sort of joy.

“You wonder why they love you more than me,” Julian said, a fond tilt to his lips. “I think this is why.”

“Whhaaaa?” Tokar shouted from his bed. “Pa-paaaaa! We don’t love Daddy the most! We love you the _same_.”

Chakha amended, “Well, we love you _different_. But all things considered, P’pa, we do love you the same amount each.”

Tee hiccuped like xe was laughing, but ducked under the blankets when Julian glanced that way. Julian smirked, then chuckled, then looked down, grinning to himself.

“God,” Julian whispered, slumping forward to rest his forehead on Garak’s shoulder, then nudging up to nuzzle his throat. “I love them so _much_.” He threw his head back in a huff of overwhelm. “I love you so much! All of you! Ugh! How did I _get_ so _lucky_?!”

The children laughed and made sweet noises, while Garak purred and brought Julian in for a cuddle. He kissed Julian’s neck and held him for a while.

Julian tensed like he had an unsaid thought.

“What?” Garak asked.

Julian pulled back and gave Garak a sheepish, hopeful look. “Could we get another one? To add to our collective.”

Garak damn near shrieked.

Instead, he _wheezed_ , in physical pain from the pressure of not screaming.

Then he drew out a wide, dangerous smile, and took Julian’s face in both hands, squishing his cheeks until they bulged around his claws. “My. _Dear_ ,” he said, holding Julian’s starlit gaze so there would be absolutely zero chance of a misunderstanding. “We. Are. _Not_. Adopting. Any. More. _Children_.”

He kept hold of Julian’s face, making sure he’d heard.

“Are we clear?” Garak asked.

Julian nodded.

Garak let him go. “Good.” He pointed at the bed. “Get in.”

Julian rolled his eyes, but plodded that way. He waited until Garak had snuck into the bed and lay down close to the wall, then Julian slipped in with him.

Garak immediately squirmed to bury his face against Julian’s chest, needing to be stroked, and needing the kiss that came soon after to his temple.

Julian reached to the nightstand beside him and set the lights to slowly dim.

Eventually the purple glow of the stars was all that lit the room, as the moons had both passed beyond the apex of the roof and no longer painted squares across the floor.

“Garak?”

“Hm.”

In a barely-audible whisper so the children wouldn’t hear, Julian said, “I know we’re a bit stuck for latinum, and all that, but... why? Why no more babies? Because maybe once things have settled down a bit—”

Garak wheezed again. He breathed his reply onto Julian’s clavicle. “My dear Doctor, I’m getting into enough trouble trying to parent the ones we _have_.”

“Elim...” Julian sighed through a smile. He stroked through Garak’s hair, and promised him, tenderly, “You’re never going to be a perfect parent. Neither of us are. But we can damn well try to be good ones. And frankly, my dear tailor, I think you’re doing _pret_ -ty well.”

Garak was not entirely convinced of that.

And regarding the adjacent point, Julian was also undeterred: now he’d had the idea for another baby he’d keep on finding ways to make it possible. They’d probably manage it, too, since Garak had a gift for making resources appear out of nowhere, even if their origins were perhaps slightly less legal than Julian might hope.

Either way, Garak had a feeling they’d be more comfortable during monsoon season than his earlier anxiety might suggest.

But that was for later. Not now.

Not yet.

For now, they slept.

  
⁂  


“Da-da?”

A tiny voice woke Garak from slumber; he inhaled and rolled over, blinking up at the galaxies overhead. “Hm?”

“Papa?”

Julian scrunched up his face and scratched his nose. “Hfff. Whatizzit?”

Garak felt a tugga-tugga-tugging on his blanket, and lifted his head to see who was at their bedside. To his surprise, it was Tee.

“And how might we be of assistance, little one?” Garak asked, voice thick with sleep.

Tee just climbed up onto the bed with Kukalaka in hand, and stuck a foot on Garak’s thigh – “Hgnh!” – and plopped down between Garak and Julian.

Garak yawned and decided this wasn’t the time for imposing better sleep hygiene. This was a time for cuddles. He bundled himself around the child and dragged Julian closer as he did, smiling in contentment at the warmth they provided.

He wondered whether he _was_ being a good parent, letting it happen ‘just once’. Surely there ought to be boundaries. It was already hard enough to find a good time or place to be intimate with Julian without the worry of children interrupting, so how might those precious moments be affected if their children wanted to share their bed now?

Hmmm...

Boundaries...

“Julian...?”

“Muh?” A sleepy noise.

“What if we affixed a door to my tailoring room?”

Julian kept his eyes shut but raised his eyebrows. “A _door_? Whatever for?”

“To deter nosy, noisy children. And what if we told them the tailoring room is out of bounds unless invited?”

Julian opened his eyes now. “Rules? We’ve never had rules. Even ‘don’t move the furniture without warning’ was just a friendly suggestion.”

“Maybe we _need_ rules. Maybe children need to learn how to follow them. And we can teach them how rules can be creatively broken at a later date.”

Julian was clearly considering it. “...You might be right.”

“Hm! ‘ _Might_ ’. Of course I am.”

Garak only shut his eyes for a minute before he felt another small creature dipping the bed.

“Oh, _really_ ,” Garak uttered, but embraced Chakha anyway as she rolled into the warm and cosy valley between her parents.

Garak really wasn’t the least bit surprised when Tokar joined them. The boy snuggled on top of Julian’s chest and was apparently comfortable there, draped partially in the blanket they all shared.

Betwixt the tangle of loved ones, Garak stretched out his tail, pat-patting around until he found Julian’s foot. He couldn’t reach him any other way now, separated as they were by two youngsters. Julian stroked Garak’s tail with that foot – and in the starlight, Garak saw him smile so much that lines crinkled up beside his eyes.

“Hmmm,” Julian hummed, thoughtfully, appreciatively. “Okay, I take it back. Don’t need another baby.” He cuddled Tokar close to his chin, then lifted his head and smacked a kiss to the boy’s forehead. “Got everything and everyone we need. Right here.”

He glanced at Garak, beaming and sparkly-eyed, and Garak peered back, glowing from his heart outwards.

Garak exhaled, emptying himself of breath but filling up with contentment.

“Everything,” he agreed, “and everyone. Indeed.”

**{ the end }**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I really hope you enjoyed that ♥
> 
> [Please check out the art on tumblr and leave prose-n-scripts some love!!](https://almaasi.tumblr.com/post/625832389311135744/heres-some-art-i-commissioned)
> 
> [Don't forget about the "Little Achievements" Garashir performance!](https://almaasi.tumblr.com/post/625831092963934208/little-achievements-garashir-performance) If you like any of my writing, I think you'll have fun seeing Andy and Sid put their own spin on it c:
> 
> ([And here's my other Garashir fics to read in the meantime~](https://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&include_work_search%5Bfandom_ids%5D%5B%5D=8474&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bexcluded_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bcrossover%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_from%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_to%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_from%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_to%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&user_id=almaasi))
> 
> Elmie x


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